NEWS
what's the racket?
PETE’S MOUSTACHE GOES INTO POLITCS
The moustache finally had to give up the lucrative life aboard the pole dancers pubic mound on medical grounds. Not only the gyrating of the host body but also the ceaseless activity during the dark hours kept the moustache from its much needed sleep. There were also ominous demands >from the young lady’s vociferous clientele for the moustache to be removed completely. So one morning after Miss Automated Hoe and Seed Drill of Plunsk, Slotvia had fallen into a dreamless, if soggy, doze, the moustache carefully pulled itself out by its roots and scuttled away. It hurled itself off the bed and landed in the trouser turn-up of Alistair Grousemoor, MP for East Stirring. This fine figure of a failure had risen from being voted Silliest Ghillie to Great Political Hope in two years, but could not keep his hands off his pole-dancer. His final goal of Minister With Eyebrows in the new Scots-led Government of Great Britain had so far eluded him. Short hours after leaving his Slotvian paramoreandmore he walked into the hallowed halls of the Commons to cries of, „hail, Alistair, we’ll follow you anywhere.“ And that was the Opposition!!!!! The effect was similar everywhere he went. Grovelling respect and slavish devotion. And why, because he now had eyebrows, or rather one luxuriant eyebrow stretching fiercely across from one eye to the other. Pete’s moustache had found another position, one that could take it ever upward to the very peaks of power in Merry England and Neighbouring Dependencies. Now the moustache could really make a difference and make ist original owner proud…..or not.
SPICE GIRLS VOCAL SYNTHESIZERS RE-UNITE
Yes, it’s true. The moment we’ve all been waiting for is almost upon us. An agreement has been reached between the various machines which provided the Spice Girls with passably in tune if bland voices. Some machines were Japanese, some American and some from Taiwan but cultural barriers have come down with a thickening sud and these clever devices will whir back into action for a new tour, DVD, thong, book, monopoly game and disease. As there is very little chance of the five human stem cell bundles who made up the original group ever being on the same Continent together, what will the live show consist of. The aforesaid group of machines will aurally spew forth the songs and five stunning looking latex dolls from realdoll.com will swing onto the stage operated by invisible wires from overhead by several out of work Jim Henson Muppeteers. The whole exercise should be a money spinner and isn’t that the point? Did the Spice Girls have talent? Well they had no voices, couldn’t dance and they made a great deal of money. So, of course they had talent. It was called whack up the public. So, dear public, prepare to be whacked up one more time. And, when you get fed up with being duped and exploited by MTV, come round and search out a little live music joint where people really play and love what they’re doing. And if I’m there you can yell up, „ You’re just jealous, you old fart.“ And I can yell back, „You bet your ass I am.“
BIRTHDAY TIME
Twenty years of friendship between Miller, Colin and myself will be celebrated in two days in Hildesheim in November. The Vier Linden club celebrates it’s anniversary and, as we played the opening night, and we are still enjoying making music together, it seems a good idea for us to be there for the birthday.